Sunday, June 18, 2006 @10:48 PM
haha, hmmm, been so lazy to blog man.. haha, my koh samui trip, hmmm, i feel that i didn't enjoy it, besides watching many dvds? haha, hmmm, i rather do maths or chem or EVEN econs to have more fun? haha, oh well, shall not talk about it, cause there's nothing to it. oops, i seem to keep telling people about how lousy the trip is? i think i quite bias sia? too bad.
haha, today is father's day! i got my dad a card? which is quite rare :P haha, i think i wrote quite nice and true things about my dad in the card, short but summarizes every small but significant things he has done for us! haha. actually there's even more stuff that he has done for us? haha. i think i take my parents for granted, often i am blinded by their shortcomings so much so that i ignore the selfless things they have done, and things they do to spoil their pampered children! haha, i hope i can learn to look at the big picture before starting to show my temper at them! haha.
hmmm, today had dinner with my mother's side relatives. today, it's tension dinner? first time i'm experiencing it. realized that i'm really not close to them leh? cause my cousins have expericed far more times than me? there's this hidden guilt right there in the corner of my heart? haha. is it me? am i "bochup"? i don't know what can i do to help, given such a situation that i have trouble understanding. haha, am i uncaring?? hmmm, quite sad to see my grandparents this way. especially when it's really a small thing, esp. when you view it as a third party? i wonder why can't people view things calmly aside when they have a disagreement? haha, it's so weird! haha, it's like you can advise people on the same issue but you can't execute them on your own? haha. hmmm, so complex! so i went to ask my dad about whether they ever had such a serious argument! and to my surprise, i realized that they have never argue so seriously before and that they rarely quarrel much? hmmm, why was i shock? probably because i've experienced many immature of such. :P felt rather immature, and stupid about it! hmmm, and my dad says that in a marriage, you can't straightaway think about divorce or any other negative things, otherwise you will tend to sway towards those decisions for the easy way out? haha, WOW right? haha, i kinda think that this is true. haha.
i wish i didn't have to grow up so fast and think about all of these? haha, inclusive of what am i gonna do in the future? it's sadly, a blur to me. i've almost no idea of what do i like? what passion i have? what do i want to do? i'm unsure :S
⥠lost for words and i drift.